Building Self Esteem in
To be a great direct sales leader you not only need to have self
confidence within your own self, but also must help build the self
esteem of your downline. Taking extra time to perfect this art of
building self esteem in direct sales will not only help your
business grow as a leader, but also those of your team members and
What’s Your Magic Wand Wish?
If you could wave a magic wand and effect one
single change within your existing organization, what would it be?
Would they spend more time on their business, attend more meetings,
invite more prospects to listen in on conference calls or conduct more
If you are like the hundreds of direct sellers who have participated
in recent DSWA surveys, you would very likely list these among your
top five wishes for your team. However, in analyzing the responses and
conducting further interviews with a select group of leaders – all of
which lead organizations with thousands of distributors – we noticed
an important distinction.
The “Magic Wand Wish” of top leaders with teams in the thousands,
differed slightly from those with teams in the teens and hundreds.
Higher self-esteem, greater confidence, or, as they say in some
circles, stronger positioning was a common response from the leaders
who have already made it to the top.
Why is this? Because self-esteem is the quality upon which all other
skills and behaviors are founded, making us stronger, more confident
and better able to take on the daily challenges that are inevitable in
this business. Self-esteem is, in essence, how we see ourselves in
relation to the world around us and is a major factor for success in
direct selling and in life.
Assuming these top producers know a little something about building
successful teams, we thought we would explore some ways that you, as
the leader of your organization, can raise the level of self-esteem
within your organization. Think you have this covered, do you? Well,
before you pat yourself on the back and move on to the next article,
we suggest you take this opportunity to check and see whether you have
mastered the art of building self-esteem or are just giving it lip
This is a phrase coined by Jennie England, Director of the Coaching
Center at the DSWA, which describes what happens when we give an
individual our full and present attention. Heart-centered listening
takes place when you listen without distraction or judgment;, making
sure that you hear not only the words they are saying, but also the
meaning behind them. When a person is the recipient of heart-centered
listening, she feels valued and respected, which in turn, builds
strong self-esteem. Because listening is not a skill traditionally
taught, it requires that you seek out a greater understanding of this
skill and then practice it whenever you have the opportunity.
ICU Acknowledgment (As in “I see you”)
Do you know the difference between a compliment and an acknowledgment?
While many people feel they are similar, the two are as different as
night and day. While a compliment makes people feel good about what
they have done, an acknowledgment, when done properly, makes people
feel good about who they are. Acknowledgment lets your team members
know that you see their unique gifts, what it took to accomplish a
goal and it is perhaps one of the fastest and easiest ways to build
self-esteem in others. As a leader, it’s important not only to
understand the difference between giving compliments and
acknowledgment but also to practice this skill with your team at every
Building self-esteem through small success requires patience and
empathy on the part of a leader. This dictates how your team members
will grow - at their own speed – not yours. Do you remember how it
felt when you gave your first sales presentation or offered the
business opportunity for the first time? Once we overcome the
butterflies and nausea we once felt early on in our careers, it can be
difficult to relate to our new team member’s troublesome feelings with
the simplest of tasks. Recognize that breaking big goals into small
steps allows your team to feel the exhilaration of success, which
builds their self-confidence.
Shifting Their Perspective
As mentioned earlier, self-esteem is greatly determined by the way we
view ourselves. People who have a tendency to focus on their
shortcomings, wallow in their failures or obsess about their mistakes
often have low self-esteem. Help your future leaders move away from
these self-defeating patterns toward a more empowering, gentler view
of who they are. Do this by refocusing their attention when they are
beating themselves down instead of raising themselves up. Help them
recognize the power of their personal perception and understand that
others can more easily see the greatness within them – when they
recognize it within themselves. Because awareness is the first step to
creating meaningful change, helping your team members shift their
perspective in how they see themselves is perhaps the most important
step you can take in building their confidence and enriching their
By incorporating these four elements into your leadership style;
Heart-centered Listening, ICU Acknowledgment, Small Successes, and
Shifting Their Perspective, you will be making great strides toward
building future leaders.
Grace Keohohou is a Co-Founder of the
www.DSWA.org (the only association dedicated to the needs of the
independent party plan and network marketing professionals).